England Tour Of India(Hero Honda Cup) 2008:Schedule and Fixtures

England is touring India for a 7 match One day International and 2 Match Series.So lots of action to go , we are providing with you the schedule and fixtures of the matches , please find the details below.

ODI Series Schedule (7 Matches) and Fixtures: This series is named as Hero Honda Cup 2008. Read more

Australia Tour of India 2008:Test Series Schedule and Fixtures

Here is the schedule and fixture of australia tour of india test series.Details of the oneday serious will be posted soon

Match	Date	Time(IST)	Time(GMT)	Venue
First Test	Oct 9th to Oct 13th	09:30:00 AM	04:00:00 AM	M Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bangalore
Second Test	Oct 17th to Oct 21st	09:30:00 AM	04:00:00 AM	Punjab Cricket Association Stadium, Mohali, Chandigarh
Third Test	Oct 29th to Nov 2nd	09:30:00 AM	04:00:00 AM	Feroz Shah Kotla, Delhi
Fourth test	Nov 6th to Nov 10th	09:30:00 AM	04:00:00 AM	Vidarbha Cricket Association Ground, Nagpur

Beijing 2008 Olympics Games :G Logo

Today (Aug 08,2008) is definitely a bid day ,not only for sports word, but for the real world, Today the starting day of Olympics 2008.The inaugural function of Beijing Olympics 2008 begins at 5.38 PM(IST). Google has designed this logo on this eve.

Incidentally today there is another specialty

Read more

Cricket Asia Cup 2008 Schedule and Fixtures

Date	Time (IST)	Match Details	Venue
24 June (Tue)	16:00	Bangladesh v United Arab Emirates, Group A, 1st Match, Asia Cup, 2008	Lahore (D/N)
24 June (Tue)	17:00	Pakistan v Hong Kong, Group B, 1st Match, Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
25 June (Wed)	16:00	Bangladesh v Sri Lanka, Group A, 2nd Match, Asia Cup, 2008	Lahore (D/N)
25 June (Wed)	16:00	Hong Kong v India, Group B, 2nd Match, Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
26 June (Thu)	16:00	India v Pakistan, Group B, 3rd Match, Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
26 June (Thu)	16:00	Sri Lanka v United Arab Emirates, Group A, 3rd Match, Asia Cup, 2008	Lahore (D/N)
28 June (Sat)	16:00	India v Bangladesh, Final Four,Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
29 June (Sun)	16:00	Pakistan v Sri lanka, Final Four,Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
30 June (Mon)	16:00	Srilanka v Bangladesh,Final Four,Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
02 July (Wed)	16:00	Pakisthan v India,Final Four,Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
03 July (Thu)	16:00	India vSrilanka,Final Four,Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
04 July (Fri)	16:00	Pakisthan v Bangladesh,Final Four,Asia Cup, 2008	Karachi (D/N)
06 July (Sun)	16:00	Final, Asia Cup, 2008,India v Srilanka	Karachi (D/N)

India and Srilanka will meet in final on this sunday(06th july)

India Lost the final to srilanka mainly due to mendis

This is really a hilarious one ….

During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile,

Soviet satellites

would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds
Soviet
counter-missiles would be on their way.
This was their scenario……………..

But if there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan.

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.

They don’t need any permission from their government,
and
promptly order the countdowns.

Indian technology is highly advanced.

In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and
decides
to
launch a missile in retribution.

But they need permission from the Government of India.

They submit their request to the Indian President. The President
forwards it to the Cabinet.

The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets,
but

due

to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition,

it gets

adjourned

and

adjourned

indefinitely.

The President asks for a quick decision.

In the mean time,

the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their
attempts
for
a relaunch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a
party

that

was giving outside support withdraws it.

The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.

As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote,

a

caretaker government is installed.

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear

missile.

But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not
take

such a decision because elections are at hand.

A Public Interest Litigation
is filed
in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election
Commission.

The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM,

and says

the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the
emergency
facing the

nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367

miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM.

Fortunately

there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that
early.

In

any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in
flight.

The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China
and

USA.

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear

missile

of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.

This time all the parties agree.

Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as
preparations
begin, “pro-humanity”, “anti-nuclear” activists come out against the

Government’s decision.

Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organised.

In

California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning
the

government and mentioning “Please forward it to as many Indians as

possible”.

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles

deviate

from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over

Rajasthan.

Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.

A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service.

Since the Pakistan army
is unable to understand its software, it hits its original destination:

Russia.

Russia successfully intercepts the missile

and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.

The missile hits the target and creates havoc.

Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has
happened

and

sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile.

Pakistan never gets it right.

And

**************we live happily ever after ************8

2030… MUST Read

Year : 2030

Place : IBM, USA (Two Americans Talking)

Currency Conversion Rate : INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100

Alex: Hi John, you didn’t come yesterday to office?

John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.

Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.

John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex: How long it took to get it stamped?

John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. That’s why it got delayed. I went there at 2 AM itself and waited and returned by 4 PM.

Alex: Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA

John: Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.

Alex: So, when are you leaving?

John: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.

Alex: How long are you going to stay in India.

John: What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India, my company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta …(green card)

Alex: Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India.

John: Yeah, that’s why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.

Alex: But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad, Bangalore and Mumbai.

John: But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.

Alex: Where did you get the offer, Bangalore ?

John: Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 2000/- for a single room accommodation.

Alex: I see, that’s too much for US people, Rs.1/- =$100/-. Oh God! what about in Hyderabad , Mumbai?

John: No idea, but it is less than what we have in Bangalore . It is like the world headquarters of software

Alex: I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.

John: You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less than Rs.7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.2 ,00,000/- but has got a lovely design.

Alex: By the way, who is your client?

John: Subbarao and Apparao Associates, a pure Indian company, specialising in Embedded Software.

Alex: Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India. Indian companies pay you in full even when you are on bench.

My friend Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit Bihar, the most liveable place in India, probably world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions. You can do whatever you want! I wonder how that state has perfected that system.

John: Yeah man!, you are right. I hope our Americaalso follows their footsteps.

Alex: How are you going to cope with their language?

John: Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York. At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent per cent score in TOHIL i.e. Test of Hindi as International Language.

Alex: So, you are going to have fun there.

John: Yeah, I will be travelling in the world’s fastest train, world’s largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, Shah Rukh Khan and all. Esselworld is also near Bollywood.

Alex: You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year, he may then relax the number of visas.

John: That’s true. Last month, Narayana Murthy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at aSiliconValleyand has promised more if we follow the model of High-Tech City of Bangalore . Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.

Alex: But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy’s Infosys.

John: He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.

Alex: OK, Good Luck John.

John: Same to you Alex. And don’t go to Consulate in a “Kurta Pyjama” because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will never come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But don’t forget to say ” Namaste, aap kaise hai ” to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don’t greet him that way.

LET’ US TRY TO BRING THIS DREAM TO REALITY

moral of the story

did you guess the moral of the story…….

Here it is

Always keep your condoms in your car.

The Wedding Test

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Low and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!”

Guess what is the moral of the story —–> Clickhere for moral