New Kind of Medical Certificate::Hilarious

CHECK OUT NEW STYLE OF CUSTOM-MADE MEDICAL CERTIFICATE..DO GET URSELF ONE..ASAP..

Doctor Certified

Certified that Mr. /Miss _________________ , working in your

organization, is suffering from ‘time-bound’ illness. Due to this,

he/she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a

week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe

health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements

will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8

hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news

such as ” Come over weekend..”, ” Let’s work on holiday..”, ” Leave

cannot be granted. .” etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your

deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.

Sd/-

Dr. Impatient

Cyber Clinic

Love leter of a mechanical engg…

My perpetual darling

From the day u entered in the control volume of my
mind my heart has become a closed system and its
entropy is increasing
according to III’rd law of loveodynamics…….

The events and activities are so complex that i cannot
find the optimum
path after n nos. of iterations……

My heart is unable to sustain the cyclic load of ur
frequent smiles and
is near to endurance limit failure…..

I am quenched in ur thoughts and no heat treatment can
save my heart
from decrystalisation now……..

please do not test the bearing capacity of my heart
valves and lower
your yield strength………

please do not increase the compression ratio of my
heart so much bcoz
it is not designed to bear so much thermal stress…..

please lower the octane no of ur temper as my little
heart is not
accustomed to so much undesired Knocking…….

I am sure that u also would be experiencing some
residual stress, and
will someday show a proportionate straining of ur
heart according to
hooks law ………and as a Mechi i firmly belive in
this theory…..so i
will wait ……. till my little heart crosess its
ultimate tensile stress
and fractures

Your LoveStrain-Hardened lover

Good Answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,”Hello Doctor! Please
come over here for a minute.” The famous surgeon, a bit surprised,
walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ‘em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? ”

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic …..

“TRY TO DO IT WHEN THE ENGINE IS RUNNING.”