Urgent Requirement for Feb 14

TELL THIS TO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS(only girls) INTERESTED

Please apply before or ON 14th Feb.

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.

Educational Qualification : Any. (B.tech will be a surely +++)

Designation : junior girl friend ( trainee )

Experience : FRESHER (experienced candidate strictly prohibited)

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Perks and incentives.

Total gross ( Monthly ) : 4 gifts worth 500/-

20 bike rides each duration 2 hours

monthly Special trips to WONDERLA/HUBLI and other places on your choice.

2 trips to Brindhavan Gardens

5 Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days

Candle light dinners on Saturday nights

Special incentives like pubs, restaurants, KFC and others depending on availability and performance

Daily Provision of Chicken Burger / Pizza worth of 75/-

4 movies ( IN INOX/PVR (corner seats only) ) per month on every weekend

Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to Demand

Net Deductions ( Monthly ) : Provident Fund and Service taxes to be informed on joining

Special allowances and benefits for over time working

Appraisal strictly depends on the performance

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REFERRAL BONUS WILL BE GIVEN AS PER THE POLICY

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Pls note

read till end…its all about a software engineer

An ambitious software engineer finally decided to take a vacation. He
booked himself on a Caribbeancruise and proceeded to have the time of his
life. At least for a while.

A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost
instantly. The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with
no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to
four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the next four
months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and
fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.

One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the
corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman
he had ever seen. She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: “Where
did you come from, and how did you get here?”

“I rowed from the other side of the island,” she said. “I landed here when
my cruise ship sank.”

“Amazing,” the software engineer said, “I didn’t know anyone else had
survived. How many of you are there? You were really lucky to have a
rowboat wash up with you.”

“It’s only me,” she said, “and the rowboat didn’t wash up, nothing did.”

He was confused, “Then how did you get the rowboat?”

“Oh, simple,” replied the woman. “I made it out of raw material that I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove
the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
eucalyptus tree.”

“But, but, that’s impossible, “stuttered the man. “You had no tools or
hardware - how did you manage?”

“Oh, that was no problem,” the woman said. “On the south side of the
island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found
that if I fired it to a certain temperature, it melted into forgeable
ductile iron. I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the
hardware. But enough of that… Where do you live?”

Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the
whole time.

“Well, let’s row over to my place then,” she said.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the
man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a
stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walked into the house, she said casually, “It’s not much, but I
call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a drink?”

“No, no, thank you,” he said, still dazed. “I couldn’t drink another drop
of coconut juice.”

“It’s not coconut juice,” the woman replied. “I have made a still, How
about a Pina Colada?”

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the software engineer accepted, and
they sat down on her couch to talk.

After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, “I’m going to
slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to have a shower and a
shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.

“No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in
the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a
hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism.

“This woman is absolutely amazing,” he mused. “What next?”

When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for him to sit down
next to her. “Tell me,” she began suggestively, Slithering closer to him,
brushing her leg against his, “We’ve both been out here for a very long
time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you really feel like
doing right now, something you’ve been longing to do for all of these
months.”

She stared into his eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing - this
was like all of his dreams coming true in one day…

“You mean…” he replied, “I can check my e-mail from here?”

*….As narrated by the Girlfriend of a Software Engineer..!!*

He & she — a love story

She/He…And a love story

Friend: Happy birthday!
She: Haan…tha……nk yo….u…was just getting up from the bed.

Friend: Oh! That means I am the first to wish you!
She: Naa! He has already wished me at 12 in the night.

Friend: Who???
She: Come on, who else, Rahul.

Friend: Oh, ok. So, what’s the plan for today?
She:Rahul told me that he has a surprise gift for me for my Birthday. And also we are going to Flower Show today. I am excited! I have never seen the flower show that happens in Lal Baug. Actually that itself is the most wonderful gift for me.

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Friend: “Did you go to Palace grounds all the way from Basavanagudi, to see Bryan Adam’s show!!! Who accompanied you?”
She: Rahul

Friend: By the way, who referred your CV in SoCrates? I mean you don’t know anyone there, right?
She: No, he forwarded my CV to one of his friends there.

Friend: I heard that the HR round interview went on till 8pm in the night. I think you faced difficulty in returning to your room.
She: No, he had come to pick me up. He came from his office, dropped me to my room and he returned to his room at around 11pm. He didn’t have dinner also. I asked him to have at my room. Poor Rahul.

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Friend: If you are supposed to go home tomorrow itself then what about reservation?
She: I have told him, he will go to Majestic and would get it done, and he told he has some work in Majestic. That’s why I am relaxed a bit.

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Friend: How was your written test in Philips?
She: I failed yaar. The day before the test I had prepared perfectly. Rahul had come to our room. He taught me the basics of embedded programming concepts. I was very confident only because of him. But something else was in store for me.

Friend: Then, what did you do on Sunday?
She: We had gone to see “Lakshya”. He doesn’t see Hindi movies. But as I was upset after failing in the Philips written test, he took me for movie. I was very happy and surprised that he himself decided for a Hindi movie, and he was very happy that I enjoyed the movie. And you know; we had dinner in Pizza hut. It was his belated B’day treat!

Friend: And, what was your belated gift
She: Gift!! I had given the gift on his B’day itself. I was the first to call him at 12 in the night, he was busy throughout the day, and somehow we could meet in the evening and I gifted him with a cute time piece with a nice quote on it. He doesn’t have time sense, so my time piece must always remind him of this. That day he didn’t give me any treat as he had to go back to office. Yesterday I had a fight over this, you know! Poor kid.

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Friend: Hello…what about our sari shopping program in Malleshwaram?
She: Listen, I will call you later.

Friend: You didn’t call me back in the morning, so I called now.
She: Yeah, when you called I was in Koramangala, with Rahul. He was very upset in the morning. He had a fight with his elder brother. So, it wouldn’t have been fair on my part to leave him alone. If I am with him in such situation very soon he comes back to normalcy. So I postponed the Malleshwaram program.

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Friend: Hey! What happened? You seem to be very happy today.
She: Why not? You know today is one of the most happiest days for me. Rahul got an onsite assignment in UK, for 6 months! That’s why I am very happy. All of his hard work paid today. He had been waiting for this opportunity since long. He’ll be leaving next month.

Friend: You will miss him.
She: Badly. I am so much dependent on him. I must thank Sanju, through him only I got to know Rahul. Without Rahul it would have been very difficult for me to stay in this alien city with no friends, relatives and on top of all, no job. He has been so caring friend all through my tough times in this city, he is so mature, so understanding, so trustworthy…a true friend.

Friend: He loves you yaar.
She: I know.

Friend: And you? Don’t you love him?
She: I don’t want to.

Friend: Don’t tell me. You also feel for him.
She: I know yaar. He has everything that I expect in my dream-life-partner. I know I can never get a true life partner like him. But I don’t want to commit.

Friend: What is stopping you? I really don’t understand. When Miya-beevi are razi kya karega kazi?
She: Please…don’t say like that. I never told him that I love him or something like that.

Friend: Is he a fool not to understand your feelings which are so clear from outside only? Poor fellow, don’t leave him alone.
She: I have told him everything about my family. He knows how orthodox my parents are. They can never expect me marrying a guy from a different caste. They trust me. Come what may, I will not hurt my parent’s feelings. I cannot imagine also. Now they are happily searching a guy for me in my native place.

Friend: Hmm, I don’t understand at all.

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She: This Saturday I have to go home, a guy is coming to see me.
Friend: Oh! Is it? Good news yaar. Your first interview! Wish you all the best.

Friend: Any guesses, who is he?
She: Please yaar. I am least bothered and least interested. For the sake of my parents’ happiness I have agreed for this.

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Friend: What about the interview, I was expecting your call actually?
She: Nothing so special. I didn’t like the guy’s attitude. I told my parents clearly. My parents are very understanding and so they too told me that they won’t go ahead with this matter.

Friend: But still you should have analyzed properly.
She: I shared my views with Rahul. He had called me the next day. He didn’t suggest me anything. He didn’t tell me to say “yes” or “no”, he didn’t preach what is right or what is wrong. But after talking to him I was satisfied that whatever decision I took was right.

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Friend: Yesterday your mobile was engaged for more than half an hour. I kept trying, but I slept after 11pm.
She: Yeah, I was talking to Rahul. He is very much worried about my marriage. He is concerned whether I would get a guy of my choice or not, whether I would be happy with him or not. I was very sad to know this. But I am helpless. I pacified him and convinced that whatever my parents do, that will be the best for me, so no need to worry.

Friend: How Rahul will feel after you get married? Will he not be upset all the time?
She: Time will change everything. He will start living again. Was he not leading a normal life before I came into his life? It’s all matter of time. Even I can’t do anything other than pacifying him and myself with these philosophical statements.

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Finally “She” got engaged with a guy of her parent’s choice (with her “yes” of course). She is in touch with both Rahul and the new “him” regularly through chatting in Yahoo Messenger.

Finally “She” got happily married to “him”, very soon converting Rahul into memories, but deleting the memories was slow and almost impossible for Rahul.

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Why do girls/guys do like this?

She needs him when she is new to the city.
She needs his help in finding out a PG or hostel for her
She makes him prepare a good-format-CV for her
She needs him to drop her to the venue of a walk-in interview
She expects him to collect all the consultants’ mail ids
She needs him while preparing for the interviews
She needs his help in identifying HER skill sets, strengths and weakness!
She wants him to conduct a mock-interview for her!
She gives her yahoo mail id password so that he can forward her CV to consultants through internet in his office (in office hours!)
She needs him for boosting her confidence when she fails in the 1st written test in her life
She wants him to take her to M.G Road, Brigade Road, Forum and Big bazaar
She needs his company while visiting all the temples in Malleshwaram on Vijayadashami, though he is not a believer of God. f
She asks his opinions on importance of marriage
She wants him to be a shoulder to cry when her parents force her for marriage
She needs his help in preparing her mind for the first interview with a guy
She needs his help in deciding about the marriage proposal
She loves to share her happiness with him when she gets engaged
She expects him to attend her marriage (Come on guys, he is a true friend of her!)

The guy does all this honestly, without saying a single “No”.

He loves her.
He cares for her.
Whatever he is today; it is only because of her entry in to his life.
He treats her as his life.
She changed him.
It is only because of her, he is smiling.
It is only because of her, he has forgotten the past bitter experiences.
She is the first person in his life to influence him so much.
He was the “bhatka hua musafir” and she came as his “manzil”.
He threw the cigarette in the dust-bin because of her.
He has cultivated a positive attitude towards marriage and family because of her.
She is the perfect Indian woman he has ever seen.
He keeps a photo of Lord Krishna in his purse now; only because of her (also it is her favorite deity!).
Weekends come and go without his notice; it is only because of her.
He stopped going to office on Weekends; it is only because of her.
Onsite project was his dream; he puts all his efforts now, not to get an onsite assignment but to get a job for her in Bangalore.

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The girl depends on the guy as if she never lived and can never live without him. Guy behaves as if he has taken birth on this earth only to care for that lady. She treats him as a shoulder to cry and he treats her as a puppy in a rain storm. She loves to depend and he loves to take care, finally they fall in so called “love”, ultimately adding an unnecessary trauma to life. Girls want a perfect life partner but they don’t want to hurt their parents’ feelings, guys know that they can’t get her but still they want to care for her(because they want her to be happy wherever she is and with whoever she is).Great! Or shall I say crap!

Or I think no need to be so serious about it.

She gets engaged, life goes on…
Long lasting phone calls become short and sweet, life goes on…
A heart which was used to “Good morning” SMSs learns to be happy with just the “Happy weekend” SMSs, life goes on…
No more “Unread messages” in the yahoo mail, life goes on…
No one to share coffee at “Barista” at the end of a tiring working day, life goes on…
No more consultants’ calls to be diverted and life goes on…
He starts smoking again, life goes on…
He is still living in flashback, and no looking back for her, but life goes on…
He gets promoted, he is a manager, she is mother of two kids, and life goes on…
He is in his late twenties, happily married to a beautiful, understanding, mature, caring, broad minded wife! Anyway life goes on…

Who knows, among these “Rahul”s someone will come up as “Cheran” (ace Tamil film director)and make a wonderful movie “My autograph” telling us of his unsuccessful love stories, or someone will come up as “Sudeep”( Kannada film actor turned director) who goes to his flashback after seeing this movie and then decides remaking this movie in Kannada, giving common people an opportunity to relive their past love-life at least for 3 hours, that too with their spouses, without any problem! Because there is “She” in every wife and there is Rahul in every husband (most of the times!). There are dumb spectators like “Friend” who are puzzled to see the whole episode between “She” and Rahul and just ask themselves “WHAT IT IS???” .

To the Tech support team

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the ‘uninstall’ doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!
Thanks,
“A Troubled User”

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the
program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support…