The Corporate language!!

1.”We will do it” means” You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means” More work to be given
to you”

3.”We are working on it” means” We have not yet started
working on the same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means” Its not
getting done “At least not tomorrow!”.

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views”
means” I have already decided, I will tell you what to
do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means” We had
actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means” I have no time
now, will talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means” We actually cannot do the same
on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight
extension of the deadline” means “The project is
screwed up, we cannot
deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means” We had
actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I
can help you” means” Anyway you have to find a way out
no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means” Well even if
you told me earlier that would have made hardly any
difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means” Well I will
tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important, your leave is always granted.
Just ensure that the work is not affected,”
means,” Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means,” I am not the only one to be
blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know
anything about it”

17.”All the Best” means” You are in trouble”

Letter to Girl Friend

Ever wondered how an HR Manager could write a love letter to his girlfriend? Hope you would enjoy it.
To,
My Dear Darling

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Maya,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the jobtraining and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment woul d initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
HR Manager